April 2009
A Fundraiser being held at CMU...
danjben:
“Cow on the Cut” is certain to turn a few heads. Here’s the idea: we paint a grid on the CFA lawn, sell the rights to each square for $10, bring in a cow (Yes. We pay a service to bring a live cow.), and whoever owns the square the cow poops in wins a laptop computer.
From growing up on a farm with cows, I just want to know if any of the organizers know what they are getting...
Don't Push the Red Button →
13smiles:
randominternet:
via professionalwidow
I won’t. But is anybody going to tell me what happens when you do?
nothing
March 2009
13smiles:
hautelikecouture:
sunnierdays:
...
awkwardness today
13smiles:
i currently work for three hours each on tuesday and wednesday building sets for my school’s fall play. today, the director left for about an hour. three of us were left: me & another girl who are both in the theatre company, and then a senior guy who gets paid to work there. i worked with them all last semester, and they’re both really nice. she and i finished our job and were...
wedding plans.
bridesmaid’s dresses in red orange and yellow
flowers are gerber daisies of the same color
cake has same color polka dots on it
mornings are not my thing.
i’m going back to bed.
“Girls like it when you nickname them something smaller than a bread box....”
– Mindy Kaling
lovepuppy | The Snack Blog(via silentsigh)
hahah, minivan.
(via hello-therelove)
(via pieceofmymind)
cyn1cal:
“My most recent faith struggle is not one of intellect. I don’t really do that anymore. Sooner or later you just figure out there are some guys who don’t believe in God and they can prove He doesn’t exist, and some other guys who do believe in God and they can prove He does exist, and the argument stopped being about God a long time ago and now it’s about who is smarter, and honestly I...
to my future husband
do you know what? you are it. you are him. you are my “one.” i love you more than i could ever have imagined loving anything - anyone. as much as i know this scares you, i want to marry you. i want to make a home with you, go to bed with you beside me every night, and wake up to see your face in the morning. i want to have your children, watch you hold them, watch you play with...
10 Ways to Creep Out Your Roommate
redheadsynecdoche:
meshedwithme:
10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate’s potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate’s potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, ”He just didn’t belong.” 9) Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and...
not good
homework now or tomorrow half an hour before it's...
tomorrow, definitely
i love my sisters
me to my sister: get on skype!
my sister: what did you do?
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: boo
Stranger: GOOD EVENING SIR
You: evening
Stranger: I AM HERE REPRESENTING THE NATIONAL BANK OF UGANDA
Stranger: I HAVE ONE HUNDRED MILLION UGANDAN DOLLARS
Stranger: AND I NEED TO WIRE THE MONIES TO A FOREIGN BANK ACCOUNT
You: oh really?
You: how extraordinary
Stranger: SIR, IF YOU COULD ASSIST ME THEN 10% OF THE MONIES CAN BE YOURS
Stranger: ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS SHOW ME A PICTURE OF YOUR SISTER'S TITS
You: oh really?
You: how sad, i have no sister
Stranger: THAT IS A TERRIBLE SHAME SIR
Stranger: PERHAPS YOU YOURSELF HAVE TITS?
Stranger: PRESUMING, SIR, THAT YOU ARE A MADAM?
You: that would be quite the presumption, now wouldn't it?
Stranger: IF THIS IS THE CASE, MADAM, A PICTURE OF YOUR TITS WOULD SUFFICE
You: also, i could still be a sir and have tits, now couldn't i
Stranger: YES BUT I WOULDN'T BE INTERESTED IN THOSE TITS
You: oh no?
Stranger: UNLESS YOU HAVE UNDERGONE SEXUAL REALLIGNMENT SURGERY
You: no man-tits?
Stranger: FRANKLY SIR,IM NOT THAT PICKY
Stranger: YOU SEE SIR, TIME IS OFF THE ESSENCE
You: undoubtably
Stranger: THERE IS A MAN INSIDE YOUR BANK ACCOUNT
Stranger: AND I AM THE BANK WORKER
You: oh NOES
Stranger: HE HAS TIED ME UP AND HE IS STEALING ALL THE MONIES FROM YOUR ACCOUNT
Stranger: HOWEVER THE BUTTON TO RAISE THE ALARM IS JUST UNDER THE DESK
Stranger: I CANNOT REACH IT WITH MY HAND, BUT IF I HAD AN ERECTION
You: you know what's funny?
Stranger: I COULD QUITE EASILY PRESS IT
Stranger: AND THE POLICE WOULD ARRIVE
Stranger: MADAM, I REQUIRE A PICTURE OF YOUR TITS IMMEDIATELY
Stranger: OTHERWISE THE ROBBER WILL ESCAPE WITH ALL YOUR MONIES IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT
You: i have 0$ in my bank account
You: it needs no gaurding
You: FAIL
Stranger: YOU HAVE NO MONIES IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT?
Stranger: WELL OF COURSE NOT MADAM, THE ROBBER HAS ALREADY LEFT
Stranger: HOWEVER I AM STILL TIED TO THIS CHAIR
You: how sad for you
Stranger: YOU DON'T WANT ME TO DIE OF STARVATION DO YOU MADAM?
Stranger: I MUST RAISE THE ALARM OTHERWISE I MAY NOT BE FOUND FOR DAYS
You: good luck with that erection then
Stranger: IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT I GET AN ERRECTION
Stranger: MADAM
Stranger: TIME IF OF THE ESSENCE
Stranger: I HAVE ONE HUNDRED MILLION UGANDAN DOLLARS HERE, IF YOU GAVE ME AN ERRECTION
You: google "tits"
You: should work
Stranger: IM SURE SOME OF THIS MONEY COULD BE WIRED TO YOUR ACCOUNT
You: it's snowing
Stranger: HOW CAN I GOOGLE, MADAM, MY HANDS ARE TIED
Stranger: I CANNOT TYPE
You: how can you type, dear sir?
Stranger: SNOWING?
Stranger: MADAM, ARE YOU IN MICHIGAN?
You: what?
You: maybe...
Stranger: IT IS SNOWING IN MICHIGAN, I AM TOLD
Stranger: NOT THAT I WOULD KNOW
Stranger: I AM IN THE NATIONAL BANK OF UGANDA
Stranger: TIED TO A CHAIR
Stranger: FAILING TO GET AN ERRECTION
You: so sorry for you
You: michigan is cold
You: but you are in uganda
Stranger: MADAM, I WOULD RATHER BE IN MY SITUATION THAN IN MICHIGAN
Stranger: I ASSURE YOU
You: i don't think you meant that
You: reread that
Stranger: MADAM
Stranger: TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE
Stranger: I REQUIRE THE PICTURE OF YOUR TITS
Stranger: IT IS VERY IMPORTANT
You: i have no tits, i am a 67 year old man from florida
Stranger: MADAM YOU CANNOT FOOL ME
Stranger: I HAVE ALREADY LEARNED WHERE YOU LIVE
You: visiting my grnadchildren in michigan
Stranger: UGANDANS HAVE A NATURAL TELEPATHIC ABILITY
You: yah
Stranger: THERE IS NO NEED FOR SWEARING MADAM
You: the michigan cold negates all telepathic ability
Stranger: MADAM, WHEN WE FINISH THIS CONVERSATION ARE YOU GOING TO POST IT IN ENDER'S THREAD?
You: sure why not
Stranger: MADAM
You: i have no idea what you are talking about
You: tumblr?
Stranger: TIME IS OFF THE ESSENCE
Stranger: TUMBLR?
Stranger: YES
Stranger: YOU CAN SEND ME A PICTURE OF YOUR TITS OVER TUMBLR
You: you can't spell
You: i'll need your tumblr name to do that
Stranger: NO MADAM
Stranger: I AM TIED TO A CHAIR
Stranger: I CANNOT TYPE LET ALONE SPELL
You: oh
You: how are you speaking to me, good sir?
Stranger: HOWEVER MY INATE UGANDAN TELEPATHIC ABILITY ALSO ALLOWS ME A DEGREE OF PSYCHOKINESIS
You: ok
You: tumblr name
Stranger: MADAM, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A MAN TYPE USING ONLY THE POWER OF HIS BRAIN?
You: no
Stranger: IT IS A MAJESTIC SIGHT
You: and since you are uganda i never will
Stranger: MADAM, MY LOW LEVEL PSYCHOKINESIS COULD MAKE YOUR TITS WOBBLE
Stranger: IN UGANDA THIS IS KNOWN AS A PSYCHIC SEX CRIME
You: gravity can do that for me, thank you very much
Stranger: MADAM I AM NOT SIR ISSAC NEWTON
Stranger: WHAT I CAN TELL YOUR ABOUT CONCEPTS OF ABSOLUTE NEWTONIAN SPACE AND TIME IN REFERENCE TO A RELATIVE CONCEPT OF MOTION ISN'T MUCH
You: tell me what you know
Stranger: I KNOW I NEED TO GET AN ERRECTION MADAM
Stranger: PSYCHOKINETIC MASTURBATION IS DANGEROUS
Stranger: I COULD RIP MY OWN PENIS OFF BY ACCIDENT
You: ahh i can't do it i'm cracking up
Stranger: MADAM I DO NOT KNOW MY OWN STRENGTH
Stranger: MADAM?
Stranger: ARE YOU THERE?
You: hahaha
Stranger: MADAM TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE
You: hahaha
Stranger: MADAM I KNOW YOU ARE COLD IN THE SNOW AND HAVE $0 IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT
You: i can't breathe
Stranger: BUT MADAM THIS IS OF UPMOST IMPORTANCE
Stranger: MADAM
You: I TOLD YOU
Stranger: SURELY AFTER ALL THIS I DESERVE A PICTURE OF YOUR TITS
You: I AM A MAN
You: WITH MAN TITS
You: YOU DON'T WANT THEM
You: PEDOBEAR
Stranger: MADAM AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME I AM NOT PICKY
Stranger: PEDOBEAR, MADAM?
Stranger: NO MADAM I AM AFRAID I DO NOT KNOW WHAT A 4CHAN IS
Stranger: SUCH QUESTIONS CONFUSE AND ANGER ME
Stranger: AND MADAM
You: TUMBLR
Stranger: YOU DO NOT WANT TO ANGER A UGANDAN
Stranger: ESPECIALLY NOT A UGANDAN WHO CAN RIP HIS OWN DICK OFF USING ONLY THE POWER OF HIS MIND
Stranger: MADAM
Stranger: TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE
Stranger: YOUR TITS
You: your dick
You: actually wait
Stranger: OR SOMEONE ELSE'S TITS
You: i don't want to see your dick
Stranger: NO MADAM I AM AFRAID I CANNOT SHOW YOU MY PENIS
Stranger: FOR CONFIDENTIALITY REASONS
Stranger: I WORK IN A BANK
You: so sad
Stranger: IN AMERICA THEY HAVE RETINA SCANNERS
Stranger: IN UGANDA: URETHRA SCANNERS
You: ouch
You: sounds like fun
Stranger: YES MADAM, THE SECURITY DEVICE MUST SCAN MY PENIS
Stranger: THIS IS WHY I MUST GET AN ERRECTION
Stranger: MADAM, TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE
You: your story has changed
You: earlier you needed an erection to press a button
Stranger: MADAM I AM A UGANAN SCAMMER
You: NO REALLY?
Stranger: DO YOU REALLY EXPECT MY STORY TO REMAIN CONSISTANT?
You: YES
Stranger: THEN I AM AFRAID YOU ARE SADLY MISTAKEN, MADAM
You: my bad
Stranger: MADAM WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO TELL YOU A STORY?
Stranger: WHEN I WAS A LITTLE BOY GROWING UP IN RURAL UGANDA
Stranger: I SAID TO MY POPPA
Stranger: POPPA, WHY IS THE WORLD A TERRIBLE PLACE?
Stranger: WARS, FAMINE, DEATH,
Stranger: INEQUALITY, HATE,
Stranger: POPPA, WHY CAN HUMANKIND NOT EMBRACE ONE ANOTHER AS SIBLINGS?
Stranger: LOVE IS SURELY BETTER THAN HATE?
Stranger: PERHAPS, POPPA, IF PEOPLE LOVED EACH OTHER WE WOULD LIVE IN A BETTER WORLD?
You: oh no
You: here we go
Stranger: AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT MY POPPA SAID TO ME?
Stranger: HE SAID, SON
You: what did he say?
Stranger: YOU ARE TALKING TO THE GOAT'S ASSHOLE AGAIN
Stranger: I AM STANDING OVER HERE
You: since when are you blind?
Stranger: SORRY POPPA, I SAID, AND ASKED HIM THE QUESTION AGAIN
Stranger: UGANDANS ARE BLIND UNTILL THEIR 16TH BIRTHDAY
Stranger: IT IS A QUIRK OF NATURE
Stranger: ANYWAY
Stranger: MY POPPA
Stranger: HE SAID
Stranger: SON
Stranger: YOU ARE A FOOL WHO TALKS TO GOAT'S ASSES
Stranger: YOU WILL NEVER AMMOUNT TO ANYTHING
Stranger: AND FRANKLY
Stranger: I HATE YOU
Stranger: WELL, AS YOU CAN IMAGINE MADAM
Stranger: THIS WAS A TERRIBLY CRUEL THING TO SAY TO A YOUNG BOY
You: you dead yet?
You: nope
Stranger: SO I SWORE
Stranger: ON THAT DAY
Stranger: THAT ONE DAY
Stranger: I WOULD LEAVE
Stranger: AND GET A JOB IN A BANK
Stranger: SO YOU SEE MADAM, TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE
Stranger: I NEED A PHOTO OF YOUR TITS
You: as it has been for the last half hour
You: you should be dead already
Stranger: MADAM
Stranger: CAN YOU TELL ME WHERE THE CAPSLOCK KEY IS?
You: :
Stranger: I AM TIRED OF SHOUTING
You: hrm
You: look left
Stranger: MADAM, DON'T HRM ME
Stranger: YOU ARE NOT RORSCHARCH MADAM
You: how do you know?
Stranger: HOW DOES A UGANAN KNOW WHAT AN RORSCHARCH IS?
Stranger: OH MADAM
Stranger: IN MY COUNTRY
Stranger: WE DONT
Stranger: BUT MADAM
Stranger: I MUST GO NOW
You: ok, i suppose
You: good luck
Stranger: THANK YOU MADAM
Stranger: YOU HAVE BEEN NO HELP WHATSOEVER
You: i know
Stranger: AND ALL YOU NEED DO WAS SEND ME A PICTURE OF YOUR TITS
Stranger: BUT NO
Stranger: TOO MUCH TO ASK
Stranger: GOODBYE MADAM
Stranger: I HOPE MY DEATH WEIGHTS ON YOUR MIND
Stranger: AND THAT THE GUILT DRIVES YOU SLOWLY INSANE
You: it might weigh, but i doubt it will weights
Stranger: BECAUSE TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE, MADAM
Stranger: TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
randomstranger: a/s/l
me: no
disconnected
really, you're THAT desperate?
me: so
randomstranger: 14/f/cali
me: uh
randomstranger: you likie?
me: 67/m/florida
randomstranger: wanna cyber?
Watchbarstoolphilosopher:
potterspoet:
for andrew
for me?
did you laugh?
(i told you i know too many andrews)
Watchfor andrew
if i'm talking to you, tell me, k?
CRAP it's a tumblr!
omegle
ok, now i’m actually having a conversation with someone and its creeping me out.
You know when your favorite song comes on the...
almostmoon:
amandoline:
That’s what being with you is like. I never want that song to end.
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